Bisy Backsons

Bisy Backsons

For katy

Bisy Backsons are a certain breed of people immortalised by the great author AA Milne. He who was responsible for creating our most loved and treasured bear Winnie The Pooh, or Pooh for short, oh and Piglet too. The thing about a Bisy Backson is that we all know one, indeed some of us (whisper here) are one…Rabbit! rabbit

I recently came across a book by Benjamin Hoff who cleverly links Pooh to the Taoist philosophy, of living in harmony with the way of the world. Essentially and very basically, as I winnie and piglet 2understand it, Taoism is accepting that streams travel the route of their choice and that shade loving plants should be grown in shade etc. Disappointment will often follow if we try to alter the natural way of things, as many of us find when we do the same thing, at odds with nature and expect a different result. A clue is often in the name or description, a Sunflower for example will only thrive in the sun. Romantic idealistic poets (definitely not Bisy Backsons by the way) have taken time out to believe in the way things should be, they write such lines as ‘The meandering of the stream’and ‘the whispering of the breeze’

So what indeed is a Bisy Backson?? The most famous are probably that pair created by Lewis Carroll, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. They are busy doing nothing, working the whole day through, trying to find lots of things not to do……winnie pig stream

Or there is the story of the man who hated his footprints and his shadow, which were always there and could easily catch up with him.  He thought it meant he was going too slowly so he went faster and faster and his footprints went faster and faster and his shadow still always kept up with him.029  What he didn’t realise is that if he rested in the shade of a tree there would be no shadow and no footprints. He would be at peace.

Bisy Backsons are almost invariably active, too active we suggest, to enjoy their activity as they are desperate to get to the next one on their list. They are always going somewhere or worrying if someone else is going somewhere or worrying if the other person knows they should be somewhere. They make you feel tired just looking at them. Sadly though they don’t have time for the simple things, they don’t have a spring in their step. A carefree la la lah day is never theirs for the taking. busy backsonThey are in a hurry and at odds with the natural order of things.  They are convinced there is a great reward out there, but it’s always just round the next corner, under the illusive rainbow or bound to happen next week after all the ground work and effort that has been put in. Surely his efforts must come to fruition eventually.

Bisy Backsons burn their toast a lot, they are soooo busy in the kitchen.

Now, having established what a Bisy Backson is and how discontent and futile they are, it really makes one wish to be the opposite.

Perhaps we shall call them, the ‘All’s wells’ or the ‘Doesitreallymatters?’ Those of you who ‘get’ our Gourmet Trotters are probably 90% on their way to being an ‘All’swell’.25042011255 How wonderful is it to imagine a picnic that you wheel gently down to the glade, toss the rug over the moss covered mound and set up a camp for your peaceful time spent enjoying and discovering the important things:- The thoughts and smiles of your loved ones, friends and family:- The feel of the breeze on your face, the warmth of the sun on your back, the sound of silence.

It is OK to sit, we don’t have to be scampering onto the next thing, we don’t have to be flexing our thumb muscles playing the next ‘must have but will never win game’ on our phones or computers. We have so many time saving gadgets in our world today, but why is it that we have less time now than we have ever had before.  The world is rushing, bolting, careering to what?? The End??winnie picnic

My New Year’s resolution and one I in tend to stick to will be spending as much time as I can just being rather than doing……

My last comment will be a poem called Leisure by William Henry Davies.

What is this life if, full of care
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep of cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this if full of care,
We have no time to stand and starepigs love

 

 

January 27th, 2013 | 0 comments | Read More >>

Throw Another ‘Blog’ On The Fire

Day 6 of the New Year and it’s probably time for a New Year Resolution Revolt.  If you have managed to keep to your diet of green stuff and water until today then well done you. I nearly did but I had a little accident… I found a foil wrapped chocolate in my coat pocket, obviously an emergency provision in case I became lost on a dog walk over Christmas. What can I say? It’s fatal. Once you have had a sneaky nibble of chocolate in the middle of a diet, it is so hard to delete the memory from your taste buds.

fat bunny 3

For me it spells downhill from here.  How many lettuce leaves does it take to make up a calorie? You don’t see many chubby bunnies, surely I’ve banked some weight loss since Jan 1st so that the odd piece of chocolate can be smuggled in.

Talking of Bunnies, ( apologies for the tenuous link) how convenient would it be if we were a little like Alice In Wonderland with her ‘Drink Me’ tonic. I wonder if there is such a thing as a ‘Selective Body ShapingTonic’, perhaps we could add a little drop of Ginseng for shrinkage of the tummy, Paprika for the hips and possibly freshly grated ginger for the bottom.

If I could put as much effort into dieting as I do thinking about it, I would probably look like Kate Moss, but alas, that is unlikely to happen, and would I be happy? Probably not! In truth I am far more comfortable in front of the fire with a steaming cup of hot chocolate and some cosy socks. Alpaca socks would be my ideal.alpaca_UK

During the shows I have attended I have had the opportunity to meet many small business people, mostly with the guts and determination and a belief in their product that is needed to succeed. One such company was The Toft Alpaca Company owned by Kerry Lord http://www.thetoftalpacashop.co.uk/ Like many people with small businesses she was inspired to earn a living from something she was gifted in and passionate about and, what started out as a farm of Alpacas owned, I believe, by her parents, has turned into a company encompassing every single possible use of an Alpaca. I adore her stylish knits which she experimented and perfected by knitting herself. I have never seen such an enormous pair of needles, heryarn 2 range spans from baby toys to herringbone rugs. But what I love about her business, is that if you can knit she will sell you a kit and if you can’t she will knit it for you using her own wool from the farm, unbleached and undyed as nature intended.  Original coloured yarns are produced by mixing different coloured fleeces and different qualities of yarn are obtained from a baby alpaca grade to a chunkier grade from adults, adding a diversity and uniqueness.

yarn 1chestnut_brown_alpaca_wool_knitting_yarnIt seems to me that people like Kerry and her skilled workers are keeping our heritage and traditional crafts alive and well, but what I love about it is the way she has moved with a quirkiness to make yesterday’s skills fit seamlessly into today’s society. Take a look at her Christmas Baubles if you need proof.                 christmas_baubles_felting_workshopI would love to spend a few days at one of her many workshops that she holds and learn to knit my own pair of socks to snuggle up in. This may not happen this season, so if you’re reading this Kerry and are not too phenomenally busy building your brilliant Toft Empire, my feet are a size four and I’d like a pair in matching chocolate xxxx Together with my hot chocolate and another blog on the fire, I shall hunker down til spring.

easy_beanie_knitting_patterncable_alpaca_socks_knitting_pattern
chunky_cable_bed_socks_pattern

 

January 5th, 2013 | 0 comments | Read More >>

LETT-UCE PRAY

Lett-uce Pray

Let us pray for a thin February, get on your knees in front of your God (mine is the bathroom scales, apologies for the irreverence but there it is!) and ask what it is you have to do to achieve the required weight loss in 1 month… and no that doesn’t mean moving the zero on the scales!!  Neither does it mean weighing yourself one week fully clothed,     ( with coat, boots and scarves) and the next week popping onto the truth-teller, butt naked, wearing nothing but an optimistic smile. What happened to scales of justice??

If you have tedious, all knowing scales which work out your BMI and your weight, you could try entering your height as 6ft, that allows you a considerable amount more leeway for weight distribution, but as we all know the mantra from the great Bard Shakespeare himself :- To Thine Own Self Be True, thou canst not then be false to any man (or woman!!) In essence, then, we can translate his immortal words for our use as ‘Eating is Cheating’.

Personally I like to eat without conscience for the entire month of December so that weight loss really does start significantly once I hit the green stuff. So don’t be disheartened there are many lovely things we can create with lettuce for example:-

Lettuce Soup

1 large lettuce

1 medium onion

1 medium potato

25gms butter

¾ pt milk

300mls chicken stock

4tablespoons double cream

Salt and freshly ground pepper

 I would not insult you all by writing the method because I’m sure you can work out that for the month of January with your no fat diet, you will end up with lettuce and onion with salt and freshly ground pepper…Yumm! Scrumptious!

 Or we could try cucumber, they are after all 90% water, so don’t forget to suck every last drop. Worldwide in 2010 there were 57,559,836 tonnes of cucumber were grown…Why?? 

Actually I jest I am a great fan of salad and like most food and drink, the taste is definitely enhanced by beautiful presentation.  A fresh strawberry in a glass of fizzy water makes so much difference to a dull drink. Try freezing pieces of fruit in ice cube trays with water, they make delightful ice cubes. The taste of the finest champagne in the world would be seriously compromised if served in a polystyrene cup, and a delightful plate of fresh vegetables, fruit or salad, tastes wonderful if a little extra effort is taken with the finish and delivery.

This concept was exactly what I was trying to achieve with the contents in The Gourmet Trotter Picnic Hamper. The glass ware for your fine wines and the china plates, charcuterie and cheese boards will always make your picnic taste wonderful. A little imagination is all that’s required and there are no rules. It is your picnic to dress up or down, either way.

January is a pretty miserable month, why do we chose to forgo all that is scrumptious and naughty during this bleakest of times, wouldn’t May be easier when we have a ‘spring’ in our step quite literally and an optimism that we are going to have endless long summer  evenings with healthy walks and salad days.

December 31st, 2012 | 0 comments | Read More >>

Flatties Fight Back

Flatties Fight Back @cocorose

Come on ladies!! Now is the time we reward our poor exhausted feet with a more down to earth treat. We have spent the last two weeks of festivities defying gravity on our 6 inch platforms, tottering around dangerously at cocktail parties, blaming the height of the heel on the precarious wobble, nothing what so ever with the punch, obviously.

We have also been ‘on our feet’ in one way or another for what seems like days with feast preparations.  We are well aware that ladies simply don’t sit down at this time of year, scurrying from kitchen to table, presenting culinary delights to teenagers with hollow legs and husbands with well stretched girths. No-one seems to have a ‘Full’ Sign in place which can’t be removed by a well-earned nap and the whole filling process starts again

My feet have been killing me and I have been lucky enough to receive some beautiful perfume products to anoint my tired toes and uber comfy slippers. But what happens when we have to gear up for the next inevitable party, and the thought of the pain in the Strutties is really just too great, or perhaps after an hour or so becomes more than one can bare.

Cue Cocorose, the suppliers of the most beautiful ballet pump which puts a whole new meaning into ‘kicking up your heels.’ I for one could dance the night away with these instead of swaying gingerly in my heels. If some-one knows the secret to strutting your stuff in killer heels then let me know, but in the meantime I have got a pair of beautiful of Mia ballet shoes which will add elegance and comfort to my LBD, for New Year’s Eve.  They are foldable and have the sweetest bow detail on an almond shaped toe. They have a leather sole so will survive the odd puddle on the walk to the taxi, and there have been a few of those around this holiday!! They also have cushioned heels and padded foot beds, basically a luxury foot massage in a shoe!!!! Or  ‘Foot Massage To Go!’

And a little bird told me there is the most beautiful Spring Collection coming mid Jan. I have my beady little eye on these little treasures based on Liberty Art Fabrics. If you want to be elegant but supremely comfortable visit

http://www.cocoroselondon.com

 

 

December 30th, 2012 | 0 comments | Read More >>

Ode To Adipose

An Ode To Adipose.

Four days left of feasting and gluttony, just four more days til the guilt of the width of the waist line and the abused shards of liver fragments left floating in a heap in your abdomen, pierce you conscience. Just four more days til the time comes for the New Year Resolutions or should I say Revolutions. Time for the self-inflicted punishment to begin, the masochistic purge of toxins accumulated over the jollities of excess good will and above all the ‘Christmas Spirit’ to be expelled from your poor rotund battered body.

If like me you don’t drink and don’t smoke and currently have no significant other,  then your sins may be slightly less mountainous, but sadly for me I seem to have over indulged spectacularly on the eating front with a heavy dose of Poor me, I don’t drink I don’t smoke, I don’t *** so why shouldn’t I stuff myself stupid. Moment on lips, life time on hips, springs to mind, add to that bum, legs, stomach, arms and face and you have it. ‘Adipose Aboundeth’ (sounds like the title of a new Carol)

For those of you not in the medical know, Adipose is the kinder more mysterious and therefore more alluring name for FAT, which, unlike other three letter words such as ‘OIL’  does not conjure up images of wealth and riches beyond imaginings. Obese is even worse, I shudder at the very thought of it.

When my children were little and were frightened of something, I used to suggest they gave it a name. The spider in the bath became known as Sydney and the worm in your boot became Walter. So in order to be less fearful about this atrocious girth expansion, my Belly has become known as BASIL. I have written the following little gem for my children.  It just goes to show how my theory of befriending the enemy makes him less scary.  Basil became the central focus as all things cuddly and safe, and is love and adored by all.

 

My Dearest Children

It is with deep sadness that I write to you all to inform you of the imminent demise of Basil.

Basil, as you know, Children, has been a constant source of nourishment and comfort for me for many years.  He has served us all well including the safe harbour for you precious babes as pre infants during my numerous pregnancies.  In latter years he has taken on the coveted role of chief waist band button launcher, a difficult and unpopular position but one of great amusement to others.  But, frankly my dears, he has now exceeded his role and taken on inflated proportions, his ego knows no bounds. He has been taken before a juryof 12, fair and true, trousers and skirts and they have found him guilty of over indulgence and gluttony, punishable by a slow death of starvation until every last remaining remnant of chocolate passes from his being.

Grandma is kindly sharing her many years of experience of Basil shedding and has passed on a Footballers Diet which seems to mainly consist of half a grapefruit and a piece of dry toast at rather infrequent intervals, that is to say, three times per day, punctuated by fizzy water which I detest and coffee with no milk or sugar! Personally, I doubt whether any footballers actually use this diet, do they not have sufficient cash to employ people to lose weight for them! So I shall rename this sad torture as, Death by Diet.

As I so frequently mention, this life is supposed to be about the journey, not the destination, so shall I be proud on the day I lay in my final box? There will be with no air of fag breath, booze breath and my shroud will be a perfect size 10. Meanwhile, on the journey and in preparation for this great day I shall have to suffer the indignity of slowly fading away, sucking grapefruits.

I have to say that, as yet, I have not started this diet.  I intend to shop for it this afternoon.  Imagine my joy, then, if, on the arrival at Tescos I should come across the pink grapefruits with a little notice saying, ‘Buy one get one Free’……Deep joy indeed!

And so my angels, I shall leave you now, a chubby warm, great baker of cakes and when I see you all again I shall be a shadow, a mere whisper of my glorious self, and if, my dears I should overdo it as I am want to do and even a whisper of me cannot be found, just remember I loved you all

Fondest love, Mama. x

 

December 28th, 2012 | 0 comments | Read More >>

The Christmas Pecking Order

It’s not who you are or what you are; it’s which chair you have at the family Christmas dinner, that really tells it how it is!

Your social position is predetermined and reconfirmed year after year by the great divide from antique Louis carver down to picnic chair with the ‘nippy’ spring.

The dilemma for the hostess is enormous and fraught with potential domestic faux pas, basically we will all know what she thinks of us by her chair choice, even if it ends with an ‘I’m sorry about the chair, sweetie, Knew you’d understand….’ Did she know how much these 5 denier Prada stockings cost!!!! 

Never, ever are you allowed to sit where you like, positioning at this very traditional egg nogg feast is all important.

There are, of course, certain expectations amongst the family, for example, the married sons, we don’t need to impress.  They have already had their hand knitted xmas jumper, are a bit squiffy by now but we must be mindful that they are still dominant males with incomes and worthy of a certain level of respect.  They can have the ordinary dining chairs.  Father, of course, non debatable, has his throne and always shall.  As traditional as plum pudding.

You can usually recognize if you’re expected to help, you will probably be given some perching device, often something with wheels such as the office chair, can reverse easily out of a tight spot when great aunt needs the bread sauce passing and it has no arms to hinder plate collection.

What about the bread sauce consuming maiden great aunt, the one with hairs on her chinny chin-chin with a girth spectacular enough to require ‘Caution- Wide load’ stickers. A truly remarkable veteran battle axe but, sadly, prone to stress incontinence, particularly after the ubiquitous large schooner of sweet sherry.  Do you risk the upholstery on the Louis XIV carver? The legs, at least will hold the massive weight whilst the floral garden chair would buckle in an instant!  The director’s chair is going to be far too low and the piano stool will not hold her in at the sides.  She has been known to topple sideways whilst dozing through the Queen’s Speech.  Should (horror of horrors) father be approached re donating his chair for one year, and one year only, to this worthy cause. It is after all Christmas Day, the day for family discussions.  It’s all very PC.  Personally, I would suggest the heavy metal chair from the garden with the dog’s cushion wrapped in a Laura Ashley rose embellished drying up cloth as befits this fine posterior. 

I’m not unwise enough to risk any reprisals or dare venture onto such dangerous ground as the daughter in law’s chair… I suppose it rather depends on whether she has managed to produce any male heirs.  The blood line must be continued at any cost, where would we be without our Sidebottoms pronounced (Siddybutem) or our Smiths (pronounced Smythes) and that doesn’t mean combining the new wife’s surname with the family name for the children, God forbid!! What a ghastly transatlantic invention that has become!

And what of Mum, that wonderful long suffering invention of tolerance and love, that all important chef without whom it would all be a boil-in-the-bag disaster.  Good old chief MUM!!! Hours and hours she’s toiled and do you know what she gives herself….The kitchen steps with a wobbly leg!  I can assure you, once sat on these steps with paper hat in situ, I know one Mum who will not enter the kitchen again for the rest of the day!

December 23rd, 2012 | 0 comments | Read More >>

Carols By Candlelight for Breast Cancer

Breast Cancer Care

We were delighted to be able to support the Breast Cancer Care fashion show on Wednesday 3 October at the Grosvenor House Hotel, London. This inspiring and glamorous event was an amazing occasion of fashion, fundraising, celebrities and the debut of stunning models hitting the professional catwalk, following their diagnosis of breast cancer

Working with professional teams on all aspects of the event from Hilary Alexander, Vidal Sassoon to Estée Lauder, The Show moved and inspired guests with its highly polished catwalk show. The glamour didn’t stop there, previous shows have been supported by designers who have generously supported the event including Alexander McQueen, Stella McCartney, Prada, Vivienne Westwood, Swarovski and Jenny Packham.

We were invited as one of a group of select companies to offer one of our Trotters as a donation in the silent auction.  It is one of the events highlights, previous lots including jewelry to the value of £2000. Our Trotter was paired with a polo lesson and a year’s membership to Guards Polo Club and raised an amazing £2500. The Gourmet Trotter was displayed on the auction table along with other images displayed on handheld touch screen bidding tablets on each table on the night.

The committee ‘ love the hamper so much’ that we have also decided to take up the offer to present another one into a silent auction at The Carols by Candlelight Champagne Supper on 3rd December At Jumeirah Carlton Tower Hotel in Knightsbridge.

We’re supporting the @BCCare Carols by Candelight 3October. You can support too, click the link below

 

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/fundraising-events/events/carols-candlelight

November 27th, 2012 | 0 comments | Read More >>

Reindeer Really Do Fly! Ho! Ho! Ho!

Reindeer really do fly. Ho! Ho! Ho

Imagine the ultimate Trotter that could actually fly. Eat enough mushrooms and apparently this could happen…

Some of you may know I have three dogs and they are responsible for the sum total of my exercise.  When I am out with them I say I am in my field office, sounds a bit like I’m on the front line, believe me, sometimes I feel like it. But I manage to make time for good long walks with the hounds and whilst on one of these walks this latest blog came to mind.

Its mushroom season and it always amazes me how some people know which are the delicious kind and which are deadly poisonous, it seems to me a bit like a game of Russian roulette as I see people out in the woods where I walk with the tools of the mushroom pickers trade, their stubby knife and thumb and wicker basket..

Those wicker baskets get everywhere, but these do not carry picnics, these are for the gentle placement of said delicacies so that they are kept dry and avoid being crushed. I actually asked a lady one day how she knew which were ‘human friendly’ and she explained that she had been coming to these woods since she was a little girl and was shown by her mother. She did finish with a cautionary note about it not being as easy as it looked and to watch out for ‘Slippery Jacks’…best left to the people in the know!

Last year I saw the most enormous traditional red and white mushroom in perfect condition, you can see how big it is…it has a zebra sitting under it (AKA a key ring) to give it scale! I didn’t even know what it was called, a fairy mushroom was how I knew it and when I looked it up I found some interesting points about the Fly Agaric, or Amanita Muscari, the most important being that is has very strong hallucinogenic properties and can be fatal.

Reindeer who live in the pine forests of Scandinavia can eat the mushroom with impunity
and, a little known fact is that some reindeer herdsmen from Scandinavia called The Saami drink reindeer urine ( puts a whole new meaning to ‘Don’t eat the yellow snow!!’) and experience a milder yet still very strong hallucination.

Now…mentioning Reindeer brings to mind possibly the most famous of all (cue for a song) Rudolph et al and how they are synonymous with Santa Claus. Also, please note, the region we are discussing is Scandinavia in general, I cannot be drawn into a discussion as to which country Santa comes from, it is enough for me to know that he really does exist, wears a red coat and his reindeer fly.  The poem , ‘Twas the night before Christmas written in 1823, crystallised this image, and countless Christmas cards reinforced it. What I wonder is, does the flying reindeer idea come from some hallucination by The Saami, who whilst under the influence of (dare I say it,) Reindeer wee, actually believed they saw the reindeer fly and could the red coat and long white beard we associate with Father Christmas be attributed to the colour of the Fly Agaric Mushroom???

Evidence suggests the drug’s hallucinogens remained effective even having passed through five or six people, and some scholars maintain that this is the true origin of the expression ‘to get pissed’ – rather than having anything to do with alcohol intoxication. It’s also very curious how the large RED nose is not only associated with Rudolph but with many a good hearty drinker.

So when you look out of your window expectantly this Christmas Eve and wonder when he’ll be doing your region and have you put the brandy and carrot out in time, and by some freak coincidence you see your most desired Christmas Present, The Gourmet Trotter, flying across the sky, just question for a moment what went into the mushroom soup? Or have you peaked early and are just full of ‘Christmas Spirit’? The bottled variety….

Happy Christmas To All and To All a Good-Night from The Gourmet Trotter Company

 

 

November 20th, 2012 | 2 comments | Read More >>

That Lovable Rogue Del Boy Trotter

 

 

He really is the champion of bending the law within an inch of a snap, but this amazing character has a firm spot in the hearts of many an Englishman. His name is synonymous with beguiling cheek and rakish outrageous charm. I suspect that his name is used regularly by many to describe living close to the edge as far as law abiding is concerned, ‘doing a bit of a Del boy…’

 

It’s amazing how powerful TV and movie characters are, heroes or villains, the actors often become them and when seen in the flesh it is as if you are meeting the character.  In truth the character obviously doesn’t exist but when seen in the street I’m sure Sir David Jason is more commonly known as Del than Sir David. It was exactly this that led me to ask Sir David if he would like one of our luxury picnic hampers, A Gourmet Trotter. A gift of a great Trotter to an even greater Trotter. Imagine my surprise when in reply to a tentative tweet Sir David responded with ‘They do look delicious! Please donate your kind offer to a local charity to raffle in my name.’

 

So, my plan is to run a bit of a survey to find out which, in your opinion, would be the most suitable charity to benefit from this kind offer. They would have to be having a fundraising event in the near future to which we could add the Trotter as an auction prize. So if you have a worthy cause you support please add a comment to this blog with the name of the charity and why they should benefit from the proceeds of an auction. The nominee will receive a picnic blanket from The Gourmet Trotter Company by way of thanks.  www.gourmet-trotter.co.uk

 

October 24th, 2012 | 0 comments | Read More >>

Humping The Hamper

These days of ‘political correctness’ taken to extremes, tend to bring out the worst in me.  I have always been mischievous but just managed to keep the right side of the law or, some would say, not get caught. And a head line from The Telegraph 18th October 2012 shows I am not the only one. How about this quote from The Other Trotter…Del Boy himself!!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/9262146/Sir-David-Jason-Political-correctness-is-killing-the-British-sense-of-humour.html

Sir David Jason: Political correctness is killing the British sense of humour

I am renowned for my acerbic and quit wit and I certainly enjoy pushing the boundaries of correctness with the odd tongue in cheek expression.  Whilst I appreciate great offence can be caused by the inconsiderate word, this is never my intention. I am, as I say, mischievous, not malicious, but if I ever had a mule I would call it Muffin. Even though Muffin The Mule may be a sexual offence I really don’t see how any mule can be offended. I would be more offended by being a cross between a donkey and horse than having a name like Muffin!


But, the question arises, is Humping the Hamper too risqué an expression when used to praise our luxury mobile Gourmet Totters. Humping the hamper it is not but we have used this ‘tag line’ often to describe why the Trotter is the answer to all you folk out there who would like to picnic with a little style more than three feet from your car. There is no getting away from it:- Hampers are wonderful but horribly heavy and impractical. They are an impossible shape to carry, your Tarte Tartin will not resemble its initial beauty on your arrival, it will be an upside-down cake! Hampers are an awkward shape to pack. Which of you have square plates and glasses, bottles and relish jars? It is true, in order to move them they have to be ‘humped’. I once tried putting an umbrella through the handle and each of us hold one end, good in theory, but, as my other half is over six foot, did not work terribly well.

So humping the hamper is what you have to do! Definitions vary on the dictionary used but To Hump is apparently slang for (amongst other things!!!) haul, carry or lift. In my Thesaurus the main entry is To Convey. So to all you people out there with a poised ‘Tutt’, all I can say is that you have a mucky mind or have too many dogs and are used to your leg being the innocent victim of said expression.

October 18th, 2012 | 0 comments | Read More >>